Don't speak as loud as my heart
by BadassGenius
Summary: Come up to meet you, tell you i'm sorry...


**Fandom:** Grey's Anatomy  
**Character: ** Mark&Lexie  
**Rating:** PG  
**Status**: Complete (One Shot)  
**Disclaimer:** The characters and the show belong to ABC, not to me. The title belongs to Coldplay.  
** Author's Note**: I've been asked to write a ML fic and so I've tried to do it. I admit that I when I started writing I had no idea of what I should have written. I listened to "The Scientist" and started writing, I only knew how to begin the story. I think it came up pretty good, I hope you'll like it! This is dedicated to my Slexie friends (you know who you are :P) and special thanks go to Kaat, my awesome beta reader! Oh and there are some little "Easter Eggs" here and there. LOL Enjoy!

**Don't speak as loud as my heart.**

"Time of death: 3.45 am" Lexie said. She put down the defibrillator and ran away. Lexie left the OR as fast as she could, without looking back. The door slammed right after her and she was gone.

Lexie, Mark , Meredith, Derek and five nurses were operating on a young woman, mother of two little girls, who had had a car crash that very same afternoon. Her condition was critical: Mary Alice, that was her name, she had major brain injuries, her left lung and her liver had been perforated by her ribs and she also had facial traumas. Meredith and Lexie were in the E.R. when Mary Alice was brought to the hospital by the ambulance and they could tell right away that the patient probably wouldn't make it.

Cases like these were nothing new and Lexie was used to deaths. This time, though, it was different. Before starting the surgery on the woman, Lexie met Mary Alice's husband and their two little girls, Savannah and Juliet, in the hallway. At first she didn't recognize the young tall man but looking at him better she suddenly remembered him.

"Oh my God, Thom!" she said, hugging him.

"Lexie!" he hugged her back, tightly "How is she?"

"She's in the O.R., we're about to operate her" she whispered.

Thom was broken, he was crying while his two daughters, too little to actually understand what was going on, were staring at him and Lexie.

"She will be ok, won't she?"

"Thom, I want to be honest with you" Lexie started "Mary Alice is critical. She has had a pretty bad car crash and she has reported major brain injuries, facial and abdominal traumas. I'm sorry, Thom"

"No … Please!" he cried, his face in his hands "You have to do something!"

Lexie was sad and desperate. All of this came totally unexpected. Thomas Worthington and Lexie Grey started the Med School together but before starting the third year, Thom and his family moved to Miami and he continued the Med School there. They used to be good friends and they kept in contact for the first year but then life happened and they lost contact. This was the first time after many years that Lexie saw him, she didn't even know that Thom had a wife and that he lived in Seattle again.

"Thom, listen to me" she put her hands on his shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes.

He nodded and Lexie kept talking "We'll do everything we can, I promise".

She let him go, looked at those two redhead little girls and walked away. While running to the O.R., Lexie knew she just made a promise that she probably wouldn't be able to keep.

Now, after almost 9 hours of surgery, Lexie was running away from that damn O.R. All she could think was that Mary Alice was dead, that her daughters were half-orphan and that Thom hate her for the rest of his life.

Lexie was a sensitive person, she got attached way too easily and she knew it wasn't good for a doctor, especially for a surgeon. Tears were streaming down her face, her head was spinning. While leaving the O.R. she heard someone calling her name but she didn't care. She wanted to be alone. Lexie arrived at the end of the long white hallway and there she saw the familiar little storage room on her left: she opened the door and sat on the floor, her back leaned to the wall and her arms surrounding her knees.

"Lexie!" Mark called her in the very moment she was leaving the O.R..

Nobody in that O.R. knew who Mary Alice was so nobody could understand Lexie's behavior. Derek looked at Meredith with an interrogative look on his face but she didn't know more than him.

"Go after her" said Meredith, looking at Mark.

He was just standing there, without knowing what to do or what to say.

"I don't know why she acted like that" Meredith started "But I know that she needs you".

Mark took off his gloves and his overall scrub and left the O.R..

He had no idea where Lexie might have been so he called her name but he didn't get any answer. He ran in the hallway but at some point it dived itself into two different hallways. Right or left. Mark had a decision to take. He knew that the right one was a blind hallway: there were bathrooms, another O.R. and a little storage room at the very end of the hallway. The left one was bigger, it had three . and it lead to the ICU. Right or Left. Left or Right.

Mark decided to go right first. He opened the ladies' bathroom's main door and called her name. No answer. Nobody was inside the little light blue room so he checked all the bathrooms but Lexie wasn't there. "Damn it" he whispered while leaving the room. He didn't need to check the O.R. because there was a surgery going on so only the little storage room was left.

The plastic surgeon quietly opened the orange room and there she was, sitting on the floor with her head hidden between her knees. Lexie was crying and when she raised her head to look at him, Mark saw a devastated woman.

"Hey, Little Grey" he started, sitting next to her.

"Go away" she replied, without looking at him anymore.

"No, you need to tell me what happened in there"

"It's none of your business. So please, leave me alone" Lexie looked away.

Mark put an arm around her shoulders and tried to calm her.

"Everything's alright, Lexie. It's not your fault if …"

"Shut up, Mark!" she yelled at him and stood up. "You can't understand!"

Mark stood up as well "Whoa Little Grey, you don't need to yell at me like that!"

"Well" she started, keeping her voice lower "If you don't go, I'll go"

Lexie was about to leave the room but Mark took her by her wrist, forcing her to look him in the eyes.

"You're not going anywhere" Mark declared with a bossy voice tone "Not if …"

"Ok, Mark" she interrupted him, pissed "Mary Alice was Thom's wife! He and I attended two years of Med School together. We used to be good friends, Mark …. " Her voice broke and Mark hugged her. This time Lexie let him do so and put her head on his left shoulder.

Mark was shocked and hugged her very tightly, he wanted her to feel safe. "I'm so sorry, Lexie" he whispered in her ear.

"They have two little daughters and I … " she chuckled "I promised him that I would save his wife!"

It was just too much now. She couldn't talk anymore and burst out crying , sobbing and mourning.

"You shouldn't have, Lexie" he told her, caressing her hair. He made her sit on the ground and kept hugging her. "Don't worry, we can stay here all the time you want."

"No, Mark. I need to go and talk to Thom"

"I'm sure Derek already did . Don't worry about that now. You need to calm down. Just breathe in and out, ok?"

Lexie nodded and wiped away her own tears with her hands. She took a deep breath, she breathed in and out. It worked, she was feeling already a little better. The pain wasn't all gone but, at least, she wasn't crying anymore.

"Feeling any better?" he joked, giving her the Sloan' smile.

"Yeah, a little" she couldn't help but smile a little. She stood up and opened the door. "Thank you, Mark. Seriously, I would have been lost without you" Mark stood up as well "Where are you going?"

"I think I own our colleagues an explanation" Lexie said.

"Lexie, wait … " Mark started, his heart was beating faster and faster.

Lexie had already started walking away "What?" she asked, surprised.

Their eyes met and Mark started talking "Nothing. It's not important... "

"Oh, ok then" Lexie was a bit disappointed "I'll see you around then."

"Absolutely" he replied, unable to look at her in the eyes. Mark let her go.

Lexie kept walking away but after a few steps she heard Mark calling her name again.

"Mark, what do you … "

Mark interrupted her, kissing her. Their lips and tongues met and shared a long, passionate kiss. He hugged her and she caressed his face; after all the crap Lexie had been through that day, she was smiling again.

They finally let each other go. "I love you, Little Grey. I'm sorry I hurt you. I've been an ass lately and you deserve better but I hope I still have a chance with you."

Mark was looking in her eyes, he was so sincere and sweet that Lexie felt the need to kiss him once again. "I love you too, Mark" Lexie smiled at him "And yes, you still have a chance with me" she teased him.

They laughed together and walked down the hallway together, holding hands.

"I've missed you, Little Grey"

She stopped walking and hugged him as tight as she could. "Just don't leave me again, ok?"

They started laughing together again and kept teasing each other, kissing each other like they had always been together. Because when you find the love of your life no matter what happens, no matter how long those two people stay away: they'll always find each other and in the moment the lovers will hold their hands together again all the pain, all the sorrow, all the fear will be just gone.


End file.
